I had an interesting conversation with a student’s mom today about her son’s difficulty in accepting his parents’ separation. I realized that this child is grieving for so many things. He’s grieving for the family life that’s now gone. He’s grieving for the ideal he once held about his parents. He’s grieving for the man he thought his father was. He’s grieving for a loss of innocence that he can’t begin to comprehend.
This isn’t so different from the grief I have felt. Not only did I have to grieve for the loss of my mother, but also the loss of my best friend and the friendship that was just truly starting to develop since I’d had a child of my own. I grieve for my son losing a grandmother he never got to know and the experiences that he will never have. I grieve for the moments, big and small, that would’ve defined my relationship with my mom over the next 30+ years.
Grief is such a multi-headed beast. It never truly goes away.